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“At the time I think I justified it by knowing that he loved me and that I loved him, and he had chosen to have me in his life and wanted me to stay in his life,” Kimberly Bell, Barry Bonds‘ former mistress tells INSIDE EDITION.

Bell is talking about the six years she says she spent as the secret on-the-road girlfriend of baseball legend, Barry Bonds, all the time knowing he was married.

According to Kimberly, she says she was a confidante to Bonds. “He came and told me things I knew he wasn’t sharing with everybody else.” Among those secrets, she says, Bonds admitted using steroids. Bonds, however, has publicly denied ever knowingly using steroids.

As INSIDE EDITION previously reported, Kimberly is baring all about their relationship in the latest issue of Playboy. She says Barry could be sensitive and loving one moment, to jealous and threatening another.

Among her binder full of mementos, Bell shares with INSIDE EDITION, a Valentine’s Day card thats signed, “from you know who B.” Another one says, “I stopped by to say hi. I can’t wait to see you…I feel good now, so I can play again.”

Kimberly says that these love notes were not kept for any sneaky purposes; she has no ulterior motive. She says she’s just a girl who kept love notes from her boyfriend.

But, as Kimberly remembers the past, she reveals that there was a darker side to the home run hero. On one occasion, Bell had written a note saying: “B – I love you, signing it, Kim.” Bonds wrote beneath her words, “If you love me, where are you and who are you with?” Inside Edition

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